Saturday, March 27, 2010

Online Shopping

Online Shopping is dangerous
for the
empty woman.
It used to be that
you had to
take a shower
get dressed up
and drive
to a shopping mall--
all requiring effort.
But Online Shopping
is the McDonald's Drive Thru
of shopping--
a quick stop buy
with credit card number
is all you need.
From your couch
in front of the TV
with old sweat pants
(covered in cookie crumbs)--
no problem!
You can buy, buy, buy
in private (secret)...
only you
and your credit card company
will ever know...
and the postal service,
of course,
you good little "consumer".
Stuffing more and more
is never the answer to
no matter how
it is...
Excess Consumption
has always been the problem,
not the answer.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

How to start a diet

1. Throw out all the clothes that are too small for you or don't flatter your current figure, and GO SHOPPING! Buy at least 3 or 4 outfits in your current size that look smashing on you RIGHT NOW!

2. Get new makeup and a new hairdo, and look AMAZING every time you leave the house. You deserve it right now--don't WAIT until you're some other size!

3. Buy pretty nightgowns and sexy bras that fit beautifully NOW--indulge in sensual fabrics.

4. Dance every chance you get (especially with your lover and children)...get outside and see the world...walk from place to place so you don't miss the beauty all around you by being cooped up in a car.

5. Eat ONLY what you ONLY the best ONLY until you are satisfied (and then go dance--see number 4).

6. Have sex as much as possible...take long bubble baths...stretch your entire body like a luxuriating cat every day.

7. Throw yourself into creative projects that satisfy all levels of your being.

8. Re-discover yourself (don't're already where you need to be, so let's be honest and LOOK at WHAT IS).

9. Spend lots of time speaking with interesting people about fascinating topics. Get up, go out--BE RELEVANT.

10. Get plenty of rest...but not too much...after all, your exciting life is to full to spend sleeping it away!

Hmmm...perhaps I should have entitled this "How to be satisfied in your own skin"...

Monday, March 15, 2010

Having Oneself...

Why is it so
to have ones own self
when all those
around you
are so busy
their own
and image
of you?
It's like Mom
(and Wife)
(and Daughter)
(and Friend)
always seem to
Actual Me.

The Mad Hatter
would look at me
and sigh...
"You've lost your

I miss my
can't everyone else
find their own
instead of constantly