Tuesday, August 18, 2009


A baby eats
smacking lips
mmMMMMmmmming loudly
closing eyes in ecstasy
...and we call the baby

A woman doing the same...

A man doing the same...

A fat person doing the same...

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Death or Fat?

"They" say that without death,
we wouldn't value life.
Without pain
we wouldn't value pleasure.
Without sickness
we wouldn't value health.
Without ugliness,
we wouldn't value beauty.
Does that mean
that without fat
I wouldn't value

Friday, August 14, 2009

The Secret to Fullness

Fill your moments
full to bursting
rather than
your stomach!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009


Small dogs
live longer than
big dogs.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Little People

In college
I had a roommate
4 foot, 11 inches
the definition of “petite”
Although she was tiny,
she had quite the
cute (literally)
tiny rounded hips
and tiny rose-tipped
One evening
she invited me
for dinner.
Her family was
just like her,
the largest being
her “big” brother
who weighed in at
150 pounds
and stood
5 foot, 5 inches.
I felt like Gulliver amongst the
Little People,
a gross
5 foot, 7 inch giant.
The meal her mother served
was delectable—
green salad
iced tea
saffron chicken breasts
homemade sourdough bread
with butter
and chocolate mousse for dessert.
But what shocked me
was the portion size:
each person was served
one tiny bowl of green salad
one juice-sized glass of iced tea
one half of one saffron chicken breast
one half slice of sourdough bread
(with a tiny speck of butter already on it)
and each chocolate mousse was served
in a shot glass.
(I’m not exaggerating.)
That’s all she’d made.
I left that night
my tongue satisfied,
my stomach ravenous,
and I watched my generous thighs
spread as I sat my
165 pound frame
into the driver’s seat
of my car,
feeling like
the definition of “whale”.
That night
at an “all night study” group
I consumed an entire order
of French fries
two cups of coffee
with cream
and shared an entire plate
of cheese-smothered
nachos with my date.
All Big People,
the largest being
my date
6 foot, 4 inches
the smallest being
5 foot, 7 inches.
Big portions
for Big People…
Now do I want to be

The Story of Illness

I just saw
my sister's high school
graduation photo--
Long, stylish hair
luminous skin
what a knockout.
Now...she's just unhealthy.
Instead of stylish--
thrown together.
Instead of luminous--
pasty, pale.
Instead of a knockout--
pounds of getting knocked up.
She was never skinny,
just lovely.
But unwholesome living
has taken its toll.
Today she always feels
I don't want my
and body
to tell the same story!

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Fat--the TRUE "After Birth"

I love my body...
But lately,
it only seems to get in my way...
move too stiffly
mysterious aches and pains
odd bulges
irregular crevices
My body has served me well...
I don't have a problem
with baby fat,
it's the miscarriage fat that
I can't seem to lose.
I don't want to be skinny
or wear mini skirts
or turn heads anymore
(fun while it lasted,
but I outgrew it long
before they stopped looking)...
I look at my
hills and valleys
and see a map built up by
making the best of
and self-denial...
That may sound funny
since so many consider "fat"
to be a problem of
lack of discipline
or depression.
I have simply replaced
what I truly want or need
with what I could get
or what was easily available
or what others didn't take from me.
Too many crumbs from the master's table.
Tonight I begin the journey of
picking up all the crumbs
sorting through the self-denial
replacing the distractions
with my own bliss.
If people only understood
that fat comes from
the others
they'd stop pushing pills
starvation diets
and gym memberships,
and instead offer
time off
first choices
and the main course.
Fat is what remains
when the scalpel has been removed
and all traces of trauma
seem dissipated.
I love my body...
but maybe it's time
I loved me instead,
so that my body
remembers its
true shape.