Thursday, March 25, 2010

How to start a diet

1. Throw out all the clothes that are too small for you or don't flatter your current figure, and GO SHOPPING! Buy at least 3 or 4 outfits in your current size that look smashing on you RIGHT NOW!

2. Get new makeup and a new hairdo, and look AMAZING every time you leave the house. You deserve it right now--don't WAIT until you're some other size!

3. Buy pretty nightgowns and sexy bras that fit beautifully NOW--indulge in sensual fabrics.

4. Dance every chance you get (especially with your lover and children)...get outside and see the world...walk from place to place so you don't miss the beauty all around you by being cooped up in a car.

5. Eat ONLY what you ONLY the best ONLY until you are satisfied (and then go dance--see number 4).

6. Have sex as much as possible...take long bubble baths...stretch your entire body like a luxuriating cat every day.

7. Throw yourself into creative projects that satisfy all levels of your being.

8. Re-discover yourself (don't're already where you need to be, so let's be honest and LOOK at WHAT IS).

9. Spend lots of time speaking with interesting people about fascinating topics. Get up, go out--BE RELEVANT.

10. Get plenty of rest...but not too much...after all, your exciting life is to full to spend sleeping it away!

Hmmm...perhaps I should have entitled this "How to be satisfied in your own skin"...

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