Fat--the TRUE "After Birth"

I love my body...
round
curvaceous
luscious
ripe
But lately,
it only seems to get in my way...
move too stiffly
mysterious aches and pains
odd bulges
irregular crevices
My body has served me well...
healthy
agile
flexible
durable
loyal
I don't have a problem
with baby fat,
it's the miscarriage fat that
I can't seem to lose.
I don't want to be skinny
or wear mini skirts
or turn heads anymore
(fun while it lasted,
but I outgrew it long
before they stopped looking)...
I look at my
hills and valleys
and see a map built up by
giving
making the best of
and self-denial...
That may sound funny
since so many consider "fat"
to be a problem of
lack of discipline
or depression.
I have simply replaced
what I truly want or need
with what I could get
or what was easily available
or what others didn't take from me.
Too many crumbs from the master's table.
Tonight I begin the journey of
picking up all the crumbs
sorting through the self-denial
replacing the distractions
with my own bliss.
If people only understood
that fat comes from
the others
taking
taking
taking
they'd stop pushing pills
starvation diets
and gym memberships,
and instead offer
time off
first choices
and the main course.
Fat is what remains
when the scalpel has been removed
and all traces of trauma
seem dissipated.
I love my body...
but maybe it's time
I loved me instead,
so that my body
remembers its
true shape.